Titus 2:3-5, ESV
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Titus 2:3-5, ESV
Being immersed in a faith community is so important for an individual. The same is true when an individual becomes a couple. Often a couple (especially in the early stages of their relationship) feels like they can be completely satisfied FOREVER with just them and the other person. We don’t need anyone else, in fact we’re better apart from those crazies. Our love is all we need. NOPE! Any couple pulling away from their community is at risk of some major problems.
When a two people become a couple, not only do they come together, but so do their families AND their communities. If you’re ever dating someone who doesn’t want you to meet their family or community… RUN! They are hiding something, 100%! We cannot hide in our community. Authenticity, accountability and transparency happens in community.
When you’re dating, it can be tempting to only believe who they are in private and ignore who they are in public. Perhaps in private, they are sweet, quiet and attentive. But in public, they talk down to the server at the restaurant, they lie to their friends and ignore their parents when the phone rings. We all want to believe that who they are in private is their TURE self and make excuses for who they are in public. BUT… at some point, those two sides will merge into one. That’s why it’s SO important to never seclude yourself as a couple from your community. You need to see ALL sides and angles of a person.
Also, there is accountability in community. Obviously, you are not alone in that circumstance but even beyond that. If you speak disrespectful to the person you’re dating, hopefully your friend will point that out to you. Our community sees things that are invisible to us!
On top of all that… there is mentorship within our faith community. That’s the heart of the scripture text today in Titus 2:3-5. Yes, it’s specifically talking about older women mentoring younger women, but the same is true for men.
I love that God’s design brings order and not chaos! There’s a role for everyone and there is a purpose for it all! Vs. 5 says that all of this is so the word of God can be honored. When we get along, grow together in community and function in our roles, the word of God is honored. AWESOME!
When looking for a mentor, we don’t just look for someone who is just like us and is easy to talk with. Those aren’t bad of course, but we need to look for someone who is trustworthy. Do they talk to you about other people…are they gossips? This is not someone you can trust with your secrets! Do they live in a way that is honoring to God? Do they exhibit self control?
A mentor needs to be someone who has gone where you have not gone. It cannot be someone in your peer group or from your generation. They need to be OLDER. Also, if you’re a gal, they need to be a gal. If you’re a guy, they need to be a guy. You can certainly gain wisdom from your family, but I would recommend a mentor be someone who’s not from your immediate family which is why it is so important to be deeply involved in your faith community.