Where do you think the characteristic of honor falls on the scale in our world today? Is it valuable or a thing of the past, common or rare, public or private? These are the questions my Echo Group was attempting to answer last night. It all started with Paul’s words to the church in Ephesus.
Children, obey your parents as the Lord wants, because this is the right thing to do. The command says, “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first command that has a promise with it– “Then everything will be well with you, and you will have a long life on the earth” Fathers, do not make your children angry, but raise them with the training and teaching of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-4, NCV
We ended up describing honor as following your parent’s instructions and way of living in public and in private. When we represent our family well, we are honoring them.
Honor is about the whole, not the individual. It casts the light on someone else instead of yourself. Today honor tends to be an unexpected surprise instead of part of our day to day life. It’s a bonus and not the standard.
But God defines it as a standard of living when He gives Moses the 10 commandments. He didn’t say obey your parents, He said to honor them. Honor goes beyond obeying. There is a connection linking the individual to the family.
The next question we asked is how does honoring one’s parents result in living well and living a long life on earth? I truly believe God is wanting us to develop this trait as a child, making it part of our nature, so we can then carry it on with us into adulthood. Imagine a world where we sought to honor our bosses. Or a world where we honored our teachers. Honor brings unity. Dishonor brings division. Honor may one day save your life.
And no matter your age, you are still your parent’s child. This command doesn’t have an expiration date so we can honor our parents no matter if we’re a parent now ourselves.
When Spock says, “Live long and prosper” perhaps the writers of Star Trek were inspired by Ephesians 6:1-4. Isn’t that our ultimate goal for our children? We don’t just want them to live long lives, but to live well, to prosper. The best way we can set them up for success is to evaluate the quality and intentionality of our own parenting. Don’t take away opportunities for them to honor you. Remember it is a standard set by God not a bonus.