Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
1 Timothy 5:1, ESV
Have you ever wondered “why church?” Why do we need to go to church? We have the power and freedom to read our Bible wherever we are and can pray no matter what time of day it is. So why is it important to actually GO to church? And once we’re there, then what?
Well, quite honestly and directly, God designed our church community to function like a family. We are to treat everyone like our mothers and fathers if they are older and those younger like brothers and sisters. (Read 1 Timothy 5:1)
But are all of our families the same at home? No! So this can get very confusing at times. Even if we haven’t had the best example at home of what a family should be, we all know of how an ideal family could be.
Today, I want to hone in on one MAJOR important aspect of families. Conflict! Fun stuff huh? No relationship is without conflict. Friendships have them as do siblings, children and their parents and married couples have conflict too. So should church relationships be any different? No! But we sure expect them to be without problems or discomfort.
When you have a conflict with your sister, are you still sisters afterwards? YES! When a kid disagrees with their parent are they still family afterwards? YES! Going through conflict doesn’t mean that the relationship is over. It means, we love one another enough to go through the discomfort and conflicting attitudes or opinions TOGETHER!
THERE CAN BE UNITY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CONFLICT.
So what happens when the strongest relationship we see as an example for our lives as children (our parents) don’t find a way to walk through conflict together? How is this shaping our view of our relationships as a culture?
Many kids get extremely worried when they hear their parents fighting. They think that if their parents are fighting then they must be about to get a divorce. Guess what??? Fighting (not physical or abusive) are a natural part of ANY relationship. We cannot and will not agree with EVERYONE ALWAYS!! So what happens next? A conflict. How would our society change if we saw and heard our parents fighting and then we saw them being lovey-dovey after they forgave each other?
We would learn that conflict isn’t forever, but our relationships are. We’d learn that there is forgiveness and fun on the other side of conflicts.
So why are we talking about this today? Because if we are to treat our CHURCH family like ACTUAL family, we must be willing to go through conflicts with them… maybe MULTIPLE conflicts. God has given us the ability to love each other in the midst of conflict. In fact some would say, BECAUSE we love someone, we will enter into conflict with them.
Conflict doesn’t mean RUN!! Conflict doesn’t mean HATE! Conflict means we are humans in a relationship with someone else.
Our relationships at church are no different. Don’t expect people to be perfect at church!! You will have conflicts. You will have disagreements. You will have hurt feelings. But we should be willing to live through these differences and come out on the other side together. Sometimes one person apologizes, oftentimes it takes both people apologizing. But there can be life on the other side of a conflict.
We are to relate to our church family as we would actual family members. Imagine your church family is like one giant extended family. Now, go and love through that conflict. Forgive and then have fun!